I must keep this brief. The difficulty of posting from a smartphone in a basement with sporadic internet cannot be overstated. I had meant to go to the library. Or Gigi's. Somewhere I could take the computer, sit down and get some stuff done, write a proper blog. I had meant to go biking. These things, though, did not happen today. Work kept calling me in. I am finally home, tired. Hot. Haven't had enough water. It's in the 80's here, and humid. I lie on the bed, cooling off and eating frozen peaches from Rick's work. My day wasn't entirely wasted. Aside from overtime pay from work, I made it over to national camera exchange for an appraisal, and I went back to your old place for the remainder of your magnet words and a couple other things. There was a lot of words. It actually took a while to get them off, some because alcohol must have been spilled on them, adhering them solidly to the mini fridge. I threw them away, but at least got the whole thing cleared off and most of the words put into a bag and brought home. I left three words for the guys to find. Just so they wouldn't freak out that, suddenly, several things were now gone from the apartment. "Love did come" I wrote out. Hopefully, they'll remember my last name and understand, I think Nico will.
When you get the chance, tell me about what you're doing, what you're seeing. People, food, places you've visited. I want to know what it's like.
I miss you like crazy. Love you forever.
B
Honey! I finally found a way to communicate with you! I will have to use the comments because try as I might! I cannot get into my email account abroad. I must be a cyber terrorist hacker.
ReplyDeleteBut that is beside the point. I am having a wonderful time in Spain! Time goes so so screwy over here. No longer weighed down by deadlines, rent due, and busy streets, day after day here hiking through the gorgeous forests and mountains make brief moments of beauty feel like an eternity. This also means that hours of hiking on a busted knee feel like an eternity.
Yesterday was our Day of Silence. Perhaps not the best day to keep my mouth shut. After three days of hiking over 20km a day, I have developed massive blisters on both of my feet and finally after stubbornly ignoring an ache in my knee, it gave way about 1km away from Grañon, a tiny old city that cropped up as a rest stop along the Camino. I was meditating along my path, focusing my mind mostly on being present through my pain. Right. Left. Right. Left. Be present with it, outdent focus on it. Don't let it become you. Don't complain. Keep going. 10 more feet. You can rest in the next town. Beckett is waiting for yin tat your next destination.
I pick up speed. Foot steps quicken and the crunch of gravel seems to say their name. My mind's eye paints a picture of their smile,broad and cheeky as I have come to love it. I see them sitting in our sunlit apartment and I feel a longing for their warmth and care as I am suddenly pulled back again to the present by a shooting pain in my knee.
Shake it out. Keep going. Beckett is waiting.
Resolved to keep my knee in good condition I limp towards Grañon. As I slowly make my way down the cobbled streets I cross paths with a kind eyed man who spoke English with a thick midwestern accent. He took me to a nearby church where a hospital had been working since the 12th century, sat me down with a cup of chamomile and offered me medicines and ice to heal my pains. There I rested and renewed my body as well as my sense of purpose on the trail.
Now on the mend, I am resting along the way.
Oh, sweetie! I'm so sorry to hear your knee has been giving you such trouble. I had no idea you were having problems with it. I will focus my energy and thoughts on it as I meditate on the trail this evening. I don't know if you feel it when I do, but it's as much as I can offer at this distance. How I wish I could rub your tired muscles, feed you a good meal, play you music until you fall asleep. I feel awful that I can't take care of you now when you perhaps need it most. I keep dreaming about you. In fact, I just woke up from one a moment ago. Waking to an empty apartment is hard, but this time, a message from you was here to greet me. Thank you, dear. I always feel renewed motivation when I hear from you. You really are such a source of strength for me. Keep going, love. Don't give up or become discouraged. Take care of yourself, but keep faith. As I said before you left, we don't need all strength for the while trip all at one. We only need strength for today, each day, to see us to day's end. You only need strength for today. And will send as much of that over to you as I can, however I can. And, as always, I send you all my love, every day.
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