...when the best we can do is make it through with the knowledge that a brighter day will follow, that the sun will rise, that things will look better in the morning.
We got 4 stat calls today aside from my regular 2 hour route. The last one came half an hour after I had finally gone to sleep. My mindset of late has been a sincere effort to "be in love with everything." It helps the way I view things in day to day life, but let me tell you, I was not in love with that hospital in coon rapids that was depriving me of sleep tonight. By the time I'd delivered the medicine and returned to work in St. Paul, I knew it was utterly pointless to drive home and try to sleep for a few minutes before turning right back around for my shift at midnight. I put my stuff away, clocked out, and found a dark corner under a desk in the front office area. The lights out, my on-call pharmacist doing the same thing and sleeping on the couch, I settled for the floor and hoped my back wouldn't feel too terrible in the morning. Hopefully, no more hospitals will call for stats, and I can get an hour of sleep in under the desk. Using the brown leather jacket (that you often wear more than I do) as a pillow, it's a small, comforting reminder of you, and I am compelled to leave a few words here for you to find tomorrow. I love you from the bottom of my heart, always. And though we may have had some rough days, each in our own corners of the world, we press on, and that love carries me forward through body aches, sleepiness nights, and lonely blog posts. You are the only way I can have any amount of success in my "love everything" goal. I just wish I could hold you tonight, if only for a minute.
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